Never Split The Difference

Get rid of the Naivete.

Compromise leads to terrible outcomes. I''m here to call bullshit on compromise right now. We don't compromise because it's right; we compromise because it is easy and because it saves face. 

We compromise in order to say that at least we got half of the pie. Distilled to its essence, we compromise to be safe. Most people in a negotation are driven by fear or by the desire to avoid pain. Too few are drven by their actual goals. 

So don't settle and, here's a simple rule, never split the difference.

Creative solutions are almost always preceded by some degree of risk, annoyance, confusion, and conflict. Accommodation and compromise produce none of that. You've got to embrace the hard stuff.  

That's where the great deals are. And that's what great negotiators do. 

Never split the difference, Chris Voss. 

Become aware of the complex and hidden subtleties of conversation, the power of certain words, the seemingly unintelligible emotional truths that so often underlie exhchanges. 

"No" is the start of negotiation, not the end of it. 

People need to feel in control.

When you preserve a persons autonomy by clearly giving them permission to say "no" to your ideas, the emotions calm, the effectiveness of the decisions go up, and the other part can really look at your proposal. 

Everyone is driven by two primal urges: the need to feel safe and secure, and the need to feel in control. "No" creates safety, security, and the feeling of control. It's a requirement to implementable success. It's a pause, a nudge, and a chance for the speaker to articulate what they do want. 

No allows the real issues to be brought forth. 

No protects people from making ineffective decisions

No helps people feel safe, secure, and emotionally comfortable, and in control of their decisions. 

No moves everyones efforts forward