I want to accept where I am Each day.

 The body is a memory bank for the sensual pleasures of the skin

The body is also a storage facility for the distress and the frustration we have endured, and the pain we have suffered.

Cleverly, our bodies remember what our minds may have chosen to forget, both light and dark. Perhaps this is why our deepest fears and most persistent longings emerge in intimate sex: the immensity of our neediness, the fear of desertion, the terror of being engulfed, the yearning for omnipotence.

Erotic intimacy is an act of generosity and self-centeredness, of giving and taking. We need to be able to enter the body or the erotic space of another, without the terror that we will be swallowed and lose ourselves.

At the same time we need to be able to enter inside ourselves, to surrender to self absorption while in the other's presence, believing that the other will still be there when we return, that he or she won't feel rejected by our momentary absence.

We need to be able to connect without the terror of obliteration, and we need to be able to experience our separateness without the terror of abandonment.

I want to accept where I am. Each day.

Myself. My body. My emotions. The intensity at which I feel emotions.

I want to accept the situation I am in.

The conflicts I face.

I want to accept others. How they love. Their capacity for love. 

I want to accept things out of my control.

I want to accept the terrifying thought that some people will leave. Because they will. Some people I truly love will not be able to handle my deep waters.

And instead of allowing this to devastate me like it would before, I will attempt to put acceptance into practice.

I want people to love me because of my depth. Not in spite of it.

Now,
I surrender.
I trust.
I feel.

I realize that being happy isn’t the ultimate purpose in life. 

In my opinion, we came here to feel. To feel deeply. We’re here to get the full range.

That is the human experience.

So I will never again shame myself for being touched deeply by the things that make me human.

And what I’ve found with acceptance, is that it’s a great weapon against shame. In fact, it completely dissolves it. 

I am now seeking small moments of joy.
I'm touched just as deep by these little moments. And I’ve found lately that I’m fulfilled by these alone.

When you’re present enough to celebrate your morning coffee every day, you don’t need a lot. You know you’re not missing out.

Life is just more beautiful now. The more I connect to myself, the more beauty is revealed.